hey all you blogunauts,
blast offf has occured. I'm in Ashland at my fave "Evo's Java House" on my way down to Black Rock City. I'm hoping to blog you daily the adventures of Stardust on the playa.

For the past month I have lived my life as a mole underground in the basement producing a five song EP. I am quite proud of the achievement. Listen to Mr. Random's Armadillo radio show on Tuesday for a premiere listen. Mr. Random ROCKS and I could have never done it without him.

next time we speak, I'll be super dusty.

chuckle chuckle...

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott Williams who digs things out of his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds.


Here's what purports to be an actual response from the Smithsonian.
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Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078


Dear Mr. Williams:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "93211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post...Hominid skull."

We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.

However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:

1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.

2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.

This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.

B. Clams don't have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior To 1956 AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results.

Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus spiff-arino.

Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institute, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it.

We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.


Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe

Chief Curator-Antiquities

WEST EUGENE CAT OWNERS TAKE NOTE

well, this is scary...

Almost 2 dozen feral cats, trapped in an area of west Eugene, have tested positive for salmonella, and, have had to be euthanized, the Lane County Animal Regulation Authority reported on Fri 13 Aug 2004. People who live in the 1200 block of Garfield Street should make sure their pets have identification tags, because agency workers will be trapping cats in the area in a search for more sick animals.Salmonella is contagious to other animals and to humans. So far, there have been no reports of infected people, and agency officials don't think the illness has spread beyond the stray and feral cats in the neighborhood. Transmission is caused by contact with fluids, or feces, of infected animals, so people should wash their hands thoroughly after handling animals, said Mike Wellington, animal authority manager.The agency became aware of the problem on 5 Aug 2004, when a resident brought in 27 feral and stray cats trapped in the Garfield area, Wellington said. 3 of the animals looked quite ill, and the person who brought them in requested that they be euthanized. Within 2 days, all but 6 kittens showed the same signs and were also euthanized. 4 of the cats were sent to the Oregon State University veterinary diagnostic lab for testing, which indicated group D salmonella, a fairly common strain of the bacterial infection. Signs in the cats included vomiting, heavy salivation, and diarrhea, Wellington said. Healthy domestic cats can fight off the infection but still be carriers, he said. Anyone concerned about his or her pet can have it tested by a veterinarian, he said.

hey if you're missing pellet gun or those stylee beats that use to accompany Dan Jones, you can now keep up with the happenings of one Brian Gardiner, percussion specialist through his new blog. It's a strange new kind of blog that I haven't seen before, where you can join up and add your own posts...

I'm writing out of guilt... I do think about you, talk to you in my head. But when my fingers touch these keys, all inspiration dissipates. Everything that seemed interesting in my head loses interest. Can we just sit quietly together? I still love you, I just don't have much to say right now.

Well, energy just keeps on buzzing for The Ovulators, thanks to Keith, we've been booked for Saturday afternoon at the Eugene Celebration. On the Broadway stage at 4:00. The way things our going we probablly won't have a gig until that one. Oooo... what will the theme be?